As an athlete pushing your body to its limits, getting up out of bed day after day when all you want to do is sleep, rest and eat ice cream.

You have to tap into that inner determination and think why are you dragging yourself to another pressure session or strength session. Many people say that being an athlete you need to be a very dark and intense person. For all those that know me I am very much the opposite I’d say I am very relaxed, happy go lucky and don’t enjoy dissrupting the apple cart.

Every time I’m injured or sick I find myself thinking is being a Pro Squash player really me, or am I pushing shit up hill?

But then I think if it wasn’t for squash I would most likely still be in Tully working on a farm somewhere drinking beer on the weekends (which there is nothing wrong with that). But that is definitely not me!

I feel I have so much to do and see in my life and having the opportunity to travel the world while playing squash has given me this opportunity. It’s also the challenges you come up against while you’re overseas in a foreign country that makes you grow as a person. It’s also putting your hard work to the test, seeing if all those brutal training sessions are paying off.

I also love my sport. I feel squash is the ultimate challenge (I may be bias) but the fact that it is an individual sport. You’re out there on your own and if you’re having a bad day you don’t have your team there to carry you. Its all up to you to find that something, tap into that something that will drive you to push that little bit more.

I have just recently returned home from 2 weeks overseas I spent the first week in Penang, and the 2nd week in Macau. During my last day in Penang I started to feel a little run down.

Talking to my mum every day on the phone, she would ask me how are you feeling? My reply was “tired”! She then said “why are you always tired”. I first thought it’s the heat in Malaysia the traveling and being in a different bed, but the reason was all because my body was fighting a virus that I had picked up on my travels.

Flying to Macau on the 13th was just the icing on the cake, that full day of travel was all that nasty virus needed to take over and infect my body. The first night in Macau was horrible waking every few hours with a fever freezing then sweating, shivering and just thinking I want to go home!

This is just another wave in the break. I started imagining my career as waves crashing to shore. In order to get out into the open, or even better, surf your way in, first you must duck through a series of waves coming hard at you. Some you manage to duck under, others crash into you and push you back to shore. So you start again, and again. Eventually, if you get far enough the waves become easier to pass and you are free to swim in the calm waters. This is sport.

Every injury, sickness, etc. I’ve ever had is just a wave that knocked me back. I feel like I am reaching the last few waves and I’m almost in the calm water.

I battled through loosing 2nd round of qualifying of the Macau Open to Megan Craig 11-8 in the 5th game. Not sure how I was able to play a tough 5 setter being so sick and unwell. When I’m sick I don’t think straight, at 8-8 in the 5th game I hit 2 horrible shots. I feel I played the rally out well worked myself in a winning position and all I had to do was hit the ball cross-court but at the last moment changing my mind. I played a tickle boast clipping the tin and giving Megan a 9-8 lead. With the next rally changing my mind at the last second again, pulling my shot and hitting the ball back at myself. Stroke, 10-8 match ball to Megan, shit!

Squash is such a funny sport you feel you’re in control but then all of a sudden you loose that control. But every match is an experience and I feel I learnt a lot, so just extract the positives and move forward!

I am back in Brisbane preparing for the QLD Open this weekend starting on Friday the 25th. I’ve got a busy few weeks ahead with Caboolture open the weekend after and then Mackay open the week after Caboolture.

Hope to see all of you Brisbane people out at Northern Suburbs this weekend cheering me on ☺

Here is a photo dump of Macau and Penang.

Rachel Grinham, Deon Saffery and Siyoli Waters

Very cute Juniors from Penang watching the final

Tai Chi in the Park every afternoon in Penang

Photos inside the Nicol David International Squash Centre